The Other I

January 4, 2022

Living forward

Filed under: Just Stuff — theotheri @ 5:45 pm

Hours before my husband, Peter, died just over a year ago, he said he knew how much I would miss him, but that he urged me to live forward, sharing with others as fully as I can the gifts that have been given to us by others, gifts that made profound differences in our lives.

I have now sold our property in England and am living permanently in the US, where I grew up and lived much of my professional life until almost 35 years ago Peter and I moved to Spain and then England to care for his aging parents . Coming back to the States has been THE biggest change in my life that I have ever experienced. I am no longer “young-old,” that stage usually following retirement when we have energy and time to travel and engage in other projects we just didn’t have time for when we were working and/or raising a family.

I am now “old-old,” the last stage of life that may last for weeks or decades that, for me at least, seems full of new challenges and new possibilities. It’s a little bit like adolescence but with different options. I am having to learn to ask for help far more often than I can offer it, for instance. And I cannot teach or help others in ways I did through most of my life.

But since the age of 10, writing has been my way of thinking and learning. Of course, with a blog having readers is hugely helpful. And so I am hoping to learn how to “live forward” in this new stage of my life by starting, once again to write regular posts here.

Do you think I can make being old-old sound interesting?


  1. I am so happy to have you back. And I am of such an age that
    your messages will no doubt hit the mark.


    Comment by Susan Wojtasik — January 4, 2022 @ 6:08 pm | Reply

  2. I hope you continue to write – I’m still in the young-old stage


    Comment by rayvoith — January 4, 2022 @ 6:55 pm | Reply

  3. I stumbled upon your blog last year while looking for an old-old family friend, who was treated by my family as a relative. He wasn’t, but he always visited on his trips home from Taiwan, and later Africa, where he lived and worked as a Maryknoll priest. I’ve enjoyed your posts. And welcome back to the States. My wife and I retired and moved from Washington State to North Carolina; some adjustment required.


    Comment by jmmckinley3349 — January 5, 2022 @ 12:33 am | Reply

    • Who was the maryknoll priest? I was a maryknoll seminarian – 1959-1964.

      I have a website with many pictures etc of those dats


      Comment by rayvoith — January 5, 2022 @ 4:07 am | Reply

      • Hi. I looked on your site and didn’t see him. His name was Ed Quinn. He had a brother, Dick, also a Maryknoll priest, who I remember less of. I found his obituary on the Maryknoll site.


        Comment by jmmckinley3349 — January 7, 2022 @ 8:47 pm | Reply

        • Mr NcKinley,

          If understand it correctly, you want to get in touch with Ed Quinn?

          If that is the case, I’ll poll those on my list to see if anyone knows him.

          Also, I don’t see you on my update list for the seminary days website. Should I add you? May I ask your first name?



          Comment by rayvoith — January 11, 2022 @ 1:35 am

  4. Yes I’m sure you’ll manage to make old-old sound interesting 🙂 You must be very relieved the move is over. Moving country is a huge enterprise at any age but in later years it’s quite a wipe-out. In 2016 we moved back to England after 20 years in South Africa. First to a flat in Southampton for a year or so and then back to our old London house. What with all the conversion work we weren’t entirely ship shape until the end of 2019. Then Covid!


    Comment by Chris Lawrence — January 5, 2022 @ 10:00 am | Reply

  5. You betcha. So glad to see you up and blogging again.


    Comment by Thomas J. Hubschman — January 7, 2022 @ 2:31 am | Reply

  6. dear Terry, Wonderful that you are writing again. I’m sure we readers of your blog will benefit, as we did in the past, from your wise, compassionate insights. Readjusting to the U.S. after many years in Spain and the U.K. is a huge challenge, especially as a widow. May the younger ones around you learn the wisdom your ageing brings. xoxo, Carolyn aka Cookie


    Comment by Carolyn M. Grassi — January 11, 2022 @ 3:01 am | Reply

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