The Other I

January 14, 2013

Mistakes are a goldmine

I spent my childhood obsessed with Right Answers.   Solutions to problems were divided exclusively into two categories – Right and Wrong, and I was bright enough to get a large percentage of the solutions in the Right category.  But that left me with an exaggerated fear of the humiliation of being wrong.  So I avoided problems that I was not confidant I could solve, or problems that involved “thinking out of the box.”  This narrow thinking  permeated every area of my life, and didn’t leave a lot of room for experimentation or creativity.   I followed directions, I cooked by strictly following the recipe.

I have gradually given up this faith in Right Answers.  Whether in matters of religion or of science, in personal or impersonal situations, I have learned just how liberating doubt can be.  How it opens up a whole new world of possibilities – ranging from the meals I cook to my thoughts about the meaning of life.

I have just finished reading the book Antifragile:  Things that Gain from Disorder by Nassim Taleb , also the author of the Black Swan   He offers a fascinating view that suggests to me why this Right Answer approach is a deeply flawed philosophy for living.

Crises and stress, Taleb says, are unavoidable.  Not only that, but the potentially most catastrophic events happen so rarely that they are statistically unpredictable for all practical purposes.  Because crises – what he calls Black Swans – are going to happen, he argues that we are better off not trying to create systems in which mistakes can “never happen again.”  Rather we should create systems that can continually learn and benefit from mistakes and stresses and adjust, so that when the really big crisis arrives (ie – the unexpected “Black Swan” like the sub-prime banking catastrophe), the system is more apt to be able to deal with it without complete catastrophe.

He gives examples of what he means from a quite surprising variety of systems –  like evolution, or even our need to stress our muscles and impact our bones in order to strengthen them.   The entire universe and all the enduring systems within it are systems that have learned to change and adjust as a result of stress.  Survival depends on our ability to learn from our mistakes, rather than trying to avoid them altogether.

I think the idea underlies a wonderfully creative and daring attitude toward life.  I love it!

So I am now going into the kitchen and see what I can do with the herbs and spices and various seasonings we have hanging around to turn the frozen turkey leftover from our Christmas dinner into a meal that is a little more creative than the standard pot pie I’ve been putting together for years.

I hope it’s at least edible.  I really don’t need to learn from the stress of a starving household.




  1. as they say if you shoot for the moon but fall among the stars, that is not too bad! so, how did the turkey come out?
    addendum: what is to be made of someone with 1001 cookbooks but has rarely, if ever, followed the directions completely? is there a compulsion to be on the cutting edge and falling with the hope that the knight on the white horse will come and it turns out to be the red cross with a bunch of band aids and a bill?


    Comment by kateritek — January 14, 2013 @ 5:31 pm | Reply

    • I’ll tell you what is to be made of 1001 cookbooks owned by a cook who doesn’t use them if you will tell me what to do with a shelf full of psychology textbooks owned by a retired psychologist who never takes them off the shelf, and wouldn’t believe half of what they said if she did.

      The turkey passed the taste test of resident who is also husband in question. He grew up in England during the war, so, unlike me, he learned from a very young ageto be creative with whatever was available. Forget the Right Answers of Cooking. They ate what was available. Besides, he was raised as a Protestant, not a Right Answer Catholic (not that all Catholics are as committed to Right Answers as I was). His approach to cookbooks is like yours – he treats them as interesting suggestions.


      Comment by Terry Sissons — January 14, 2013 @ 8:42 pm | Reply

  2. I watched a JK Rowling TED talk today all about the benefits of failure… seems to be a theme…


    Comment by sanstorm — January 14, 2013 @ 10:26 pm | Reply

    • Be interesting to hear Rowling’s point of view. What I found unusual about Taleb’s approach is that he’s advocating something more positive than “learning not to do it again,” which more or less I think is what my approach has been. However, as a mother of children who one desperately hopes learn “not to do it again” in relation to a great number of dangerous behaviors, you might feel that not doing it again is enough for now. Yes?


      Comment by theotheri — January 15, 2013 @ 10:54 am | Reply

  3. Fantastic goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you are just too magnificent.
    I actually like what you have acquired here, certainly like what you’re stating and the way in which you say it. You make it enjoyable and you still take care of to keep it sensible. I cant wait to read much more from you. This is really a great site.


    Comment by cold calls — February 18, 2013 @ 4:15 am | Reply

    • What can I possibly say except “thank you.” Your comment is hugely encouraging and I appreciate it.


      Comment by theotheri — February 18, 2013 @ 4:08 pm | Reply

  4. Agreed a great sight (site) and part of my morning routine with an eye to healing in a challenging world. thanks for sharing yourself the way you do.


    Comment by kateritek — February 18, 2013 @ 3:03 pm | Reply

  5. I will immediately snatch your rss as I can not to find your
    email subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service.
    Do you’ve any? Please permit me realize in order that I may subscribe. Thanks.


    Comment by Frank Rumbauskas Jr — May 19, 2013 @ 9:18 pm | Reply

    • If you scroll down the right-hand column of the blog, you will see “email subscriptions,” which you can click to subscribe. Hope to see you!


      Comment by theotheri — May 20, 2013 @ 6:49 am | Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: