By and large I’ve enjoyed getting older. I know I’m fortunate to have good health, a marvellous husband, and that I find life in general immensely interesting.
Over the years I’ve seen in various relatives as they reached my age: their impulse control isn’t as strong. I’ve seen them have seconds and thirds on desserts and alcohol that they would have turned down before, for example.
And now I’m seeing it in myself. It’s rather humiliating, since I’ve always been someone who adapted well to a disciplined schedule. Now, though, I see myself playing that useless game of Freecell more often, giving into the urge for an unnecessary sugary snack more frequently, delaying tasks that in the past I would simply have accomplished without procrastination.
And since I’ve been practicing developing will power as if it were a physical muscle to be exercised, more and more I’ve had to downsize my goals. I sometimes think I am indulging in a newly-discovered luxury of laziness.
I don’t enjoy it much. I don’t get a high from winning 99% of the Freecell games I play. And grabbing a snack isn’t nearly as enjoyable as actually sitting down at a proper meal.
So I’m going to work on delaying this onslaught of impulsiveness.
For starters I’m getting a bottom line for the amount of time I spend playing computer card games each week. That at least will give me some idea of the size of mountain I’ve constructed.
My plan is to write a future post on my progress.
If I don’t get distracted.
I was also tempted to keep track of snacks, but I’ve learned that less is more. I’ll work on the Freecell. If that works, I’ll tackle some other compulsive obsession that is giving me no pleasure and doing me no good whatsoever.