The Other I

October 12, 2007

“Thank you for your interest”

Filed under: Just Stuff,Survival Strategies,Uncategorized — theotheri @ 7:58 pm

It sounds like a recorded telephone announcement:  “Thank you for your interest.”  But I mean it.

I know from looking at the pages that get hit in this blog that a lot of people are logging on to read about my life in the convent.  Unfortunately, I’m not a story teller, and I’m not writing this blog with the hope that it might turn into a bestseller.  I’m writing it to think about living.  So my forays into the past are in search of a better light on what I’m doing now.  I’m saying this because I am in danger of trying to keep you interested – to keep my blog numbers up, as it were.  But I can’t do it.

I find concentrating solely on the past is kind of suffocating.  This doesn’t make sense, because I believe the present can change the past, and the past certainly helps shape the present.  The family reunion last week was an example of this.  My mother died fifty years ago, and yet it was evident that the effects of her life are still vibrant.  It’s not because we talk about her much.  We don’t.  I in particular don’t talk about her a lot, because I don’t like to spend too much time in the past, and besides, at the time she died I was in a stage of teenage rebellion in which I found her annoying and needy and sentimental.  I don’t think that anymore,  In fact, I think she was an exceptionally brave, loving, and selfless woman.  On the other hand,  I don’t have a long list of syrupy memories about her either.

 Mostly what I write is sort of boring to everybody but myself.  And yet, it matters to me that you – my unknown reader – are there occasionally.  And I want to say thank you.  You’ll never know, but your interest helps me see things more clearly, live a marginally better life, to choose the less selfish road more often than I would if you weren’t there.

So thank you for your interest.  We don’t know each other, but I am glad you are there.

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