I just want to clarify that my post yesterday, “Sermon to myself” really was meant to be a sermon to myself, and not to the reader. It was a soliloquy about what makes me happy, energized, feeling as if I am living my life as it was given to me to be lived.
I’m someone who simply loves to work. The last day I left the university, I sat in my car and sobbed. I loved the challenge of the students, I loved the self-discipline and continued critical thinking that being a university professor called for. I didn’t see retirement as a holiday but rather as a chance to learn different things, to face new tasks. I’ve written two books since retiring, learned how to build walls, tile around pools, grow lemon trees, fix electrical appliances, and appreciate just how profoundly different cultures really are.
So my sermon to myself was very personal – it was not advice to other retirees. It was merely a reminder to myself that in truth I can’t sit still and be happy. In part, that’s a limitation. It makes me very goal-oriented but not so good at letting go and simply appreciating the glory of the moment.
I thrive best with a schedule. Not a schedule with rigid inflexibility, not a schedule which does not take into account the changing needs of age in myself or my husband and friends. But I don’t do well with days filled with complete spontaneity, asking myself every quarter of an hour or so “what shall I do next?”
It’s the way I am. But certainly not the way everybody should be. Thank goodness they aren’t. They’d drive me crazy.